Digging in to the CRC

I have to start with my belief in God according to sin/evil/pain/suffering. Again, I feel this is important because of how pulled i have been to it. this has been the largest reason for my questioning religion as i knew it. This is nothing new. This problem of evil has gone down throughout history as a reason for many conversions to atheism, agnosticism etc. I am unwilling to give up. As I said in the previous post. I have chosen my belief in God, and that is where i begin. The problem of evil is not one that compells me to lose belief in a God simply strive to understand that this god is not what i have always been taught.

The CRC's belief, as well as I know it is: God created the world (God is all powerful). God created the world sinless and good (God is holy and loving), God is in control of everything (God is sovereign). The fall occured only because God allowed it. The CRC seems to use this idea to make God blameless of sin being in this world. This is the heart of the problem. How can God be all powerful but not be the sole reason for sin being in this world?

The added problem with saying that God allowed/enabled/created sin, is to accept the idea that God wants little susie to get raped every night from her drunk violent father until one night he kills her. We cannot accept this because God is a Loving God, a Just God or at least that is what we want God to be. Here we come to another place where I had to make a decision. My decision was one that aspires hope for this world and for little susie's death. My choice is for God to be loving AND all powerful.

my struggle was... why is there 'sin'? Why does little susie have that constant pain and suffering? Couldn't this loving God that is all powerful come up with a better way for us to live? A thought is... yeah, a world that has no sin. Often, people respond to a world that has no sin as a bad place to live because we don't have the choice to choose God. First, I have trouble believing that God would put susie in that situation so that her father could have the choice of God or his little daughter. Second. "Free-will is something that is good; a gift from God. Without it we would all be robots." Bull Shit. what do we call heaven than? Somehow this connection gets lost when people think about free-will being what makes our relationship with the creator real. The all powerful creator, could have... and potentially did... create a world with no free-will that is good. Heaven.

This realization did not push me into belief of heaven, but just for our creator to have the ability to create a place i had always heard was 'robot-like'. This is not an acceptable reason for sin to be a good thing; "so we can value God more". I believe if heaven exists, we will value the creator very much there.

Damn it. this is getting too long. I will pause here. re-read. re-think. re-organize.